As an aside, Dr. Greg House delivered the diagnosis, and he was as ridiculous in my dream as he was on the TV drama series named after him.
Back to the dream.
I had a tumor in my throat that needed aggressive treatment. One of my first statements was, “I’m a recovering alcoholic so you’ll need to figure out the pain med regiment.”
House replied, “You have cancer and you’ll be taking narcotics or you’ll be a dead recovering alcoholic.”
In my dream, I kicked and screamed a little, but then quickly moved into acceptance. I was also quite aware that while I had cancer, it did not have me.
Waking up from the dream
Naturally, I woke feeling as if I were still in the dream. As I distanced my awakened self from the dream, I realized that while Greg House was a fictional doctor, the possibility of a cancer diagnosis is very real.
I found myself wondering how I would react in real life.
I’ve read that our dreams can be a reflection of the subconscious mind. Do I think that means I’m going to get cancer? Not really. But to be honest, it is a distant fear.
The two-year anniversary of my mother’s death from lung cancer is coming up in a couple of weeks; I’m not surprised that I’m dreaming about the disease.
Do I believe I could accept a diagnosis with grace and dignity like Mom did?
I certainly do.
Unlike Mom, though, whose body couldn’t withstand the triple whammy of emphysema, COPD and lung cancer, in my dream, I believed that the tumor lodged in my throat could be dissolved and that my body would heal.
In my first waking moments, my sense was I would be healed by love.
I think I would use love as a combatant. I believe I would love myself into healing. Love is bigger than anything, including medical diagnoses.
What would loving myself into healing look like?
- By honoring my body’s need for care with good food lovingly prepared and mindfully ingested. I’m talking about visualizing the food nutrients throwing a party around the cancer cells and inviting them to join.
- By movin’ and groovin’ and doing what I want rather than listen to all those medical restrictions. Remember I said I was aware that the cancer didn’t have me. I love activity and experiencing new things so why not invite that curmudgeon tumor along?
- By keeping the half-full glass of water from spilling. My optimistic and positive nature has taken me to great places in my life. I’m not about to let that change because of a revision in my physical condition.
- By surrounding myself with positivity. I’d better work on building and expanding my network of friends so that when I need them they’ll flock to my side with all kinds of love and light.
- By not allowing doom and gloom. I’d turn off the news and turn on the heart. Lots of heart and then lots more! Bring me laughter–tears are okay too–but don’t bring me anything maudlin.